Pittsburgh's First Refitnessing Center
The pathway to personal enlightenment starts here. Beginning today, our Strategic Training Research And Testing Agency is open to all citizens of Allegheny County and its surrounding areas. Located in downtown Pittsburgh, the STRATA center is fully equipped to deliver cutting edge proto-corrective treatment to attain clearer, brighter, happier living.
We encourage all interested candidates to purchase their admission to perfection, today.
Illumination, Immersion, Infinity
Let iConsciousness set you free.
Imagine a world without barriers. Negativity. Disappointment. Pain. Imagine being able to live a life where bliss is commonplace and sorrow is unheard of.
Imagine yourself in a world of iConsciousness.
These individuals were searching for something, just like you. Their words are a fabric that weaves the tapestry of the dawn of a new way of life for mankind. They are not actors. They are iConsciousness.
Gate Corporation, STRATA, STRATA Pittsburgh and all known subsidiaries of this product, known now or ever to be known in perpetuity throughout the universe, make no claims. iConsciousness is not associated with a higher risk of cancer, brain clots or typhoid fevers. Please use caution when operating your vehicle after having consumed any uncooked or raw meats. Patients must wash their hands before returning to work if preparing food. Please pause to reflect on your actions of the last few hours. High sweats, muscle spasms and an inability to identify yourself in the mirror may be side effects of being you. Please discontinue use if a rash develops. iConscousness is not a replacement for FDA-approved medical procedures. Incontinence occurs in only 20% of participants. If symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks, consult a doctor. Bleeding from the eyes (Subconjunctival Hemorrhage) is a normal side effect, occurs randomly, and will persist for only 4 hours at a time. iConsciousness is patent pending. Gate Corporation and its subsidiaries are not responsible for any temporary psychosis experienced as a result of iConsciousness treatment. Do not look at birds. Muscles in the face may cramp, as a direct result of long periods of smiling.